I don’t know why I am writing this. I don’t know whether I will ever share this to anyone. I have become so lonely that I felt writing down my feelings would make me feel better and that’s how I ended up writing this.
First the introduction part:
I am 29 year old guy and my name is GK that’s my initials for sure. I am married to a beautiful and pretty girl. I work in Multinational Company as a technical advisor and I am earning enough for living. I have a Sister, younger than me, she is unmarried and not willing to marry due to past bitter experiences. My DAD stays in Native and Mom expired due to cancer last winter. Till hear everything seems to be fine. Important part is I am suffering from vitiligo (Leucoderma, also known as vitiligo, is a rare skin disease characterized by white spots and patches. The white patch or spot is called as leucoderma and when it occurs without any preceding disease it is called Vitiligo).
Point of discussion:
My wife and I have been in relation for past 5 years and we have not had sex. Whenever I ask my wife she says she can’t have sex as she doesn’t have feelings. Where as we did love marriage as said in Indian language, which means we loved each other and got married with mutual decisions. Now it was like high time we are thinking of separation. Also on other hand I am scared that I won’t get any other girl in my life. As by this time I have turned 30 I have not had sex. Though I am considering sex as secondary thing I am not even getting the feeling of love from her which is not acceptable at all.
I also tried getting attention of other girls to get Love but was never successful. Recently I found out one co-worker was getting very close to me. Never had much feelings for her. She was a good friend to me. We went for a night out, we were too close to each other and I tried kissing her she dint allowed me. I know it was my mistake and I was guilty for it. But the girl was so hurt and she insulted me to the core. You can say in that depression I am typing this. She spoke about the spots I have on my body and said I look ugly and how can I even think of kissing her. Also she spoke about my wife and my relations pointing towards my patches. I am all broken. Why is it so difficult to get love? I was not able to find true love in my entire life. Why looks are so important?
The co-worker is not deserving of your friendship as thats not what friends do, they should accept you the way that you are. I do not know your wife’s story as there are two sides of every story said but from what you have written, don’t give up and keep trying. Everyone in the world will experience love no matter the age. As for sex, I don’t think you need to have sex to feel love. You can perfectly experience the warmth and care one gives you without sex. Age does not matter, in time you will get it but don’t push it. I may not be able to see you but you already sound like a beautiful human being. I hope this made you smile and I hope things work out. You are not ugly, everyone is unique in their own way and someday you’ll be special to someone <3
this was Touching it broke me down to my core it made me Cry